I have been thinking about marriage a lot lately. I recently attended a beautiful wedding, and found myself thinking about the vows used. They seemed to be focused on the bride and groom respecting and retaining their individual rights. This is a good thing, but for me, it is not what marriage is about. Marriage is about partners giving up of themselves to form a couple, about putting the needs and happiness of someone else above their own, about working to form something that, together, is greater than the sum of their individual parts.
Marriage is a never-ending joy, and it is also hard, hard work sometimes. I am a selfish person, and I have to work hard to put myself aside in favor of my husband's happiness. Big things, little things - I don't resent it, I never regret it, but I often have to stop and remind myself that I am in a marriage, and that means something.
We are having guests at the farm today, so of course, I was up at 5:00 making pie (I mean, that's just what you do when company is coming - you make pie!!). I like berry pie, or chocolate pie, or lemon pie, or pecan pie. My husband likes apple pie. He likes apple pie a whole lot. So, I put aside what I wanted, and made apple pie. And every minute of rolling out crust, and preparing, and cleaning was imbued with how much I love him, and how grateful I am to have him in my life. And THAT is way better than getting my own way (well, it is a little better).